It wasn’t that many years ago that a Dad staying at home to watch the kids was unheard of and even today while not as rare, also not the norm. In Christian circles the primary breadwinner has traditionally been the father while the mother stayed home to care for the house and the children so naturally when homeschooling started gaining mainstream traction the duties fell naturally to Mom.
With the increasing number of jobs allowing flex time or even full-time employment from home, more dads are finding themselves as a new option for taking on homeschooling responsibilities. This was the case in my home for a while. My wife found a great opportunity outside the home and I was able to leave my corporate job and stay at home with our 12 year old son while maintaining some steady side work to supplement needed income. We have two other children, 10 and 6 who attend public elementary school. I also wrote about our first year of home school which takes a deeper dive into our experience and what we learned.
I would occasionally get updates via email from the online curriculum provider we were using and they were always addressed to moms. “Dear Mom” or “We know it’s hard Mom”. They had conferences that even used Mom in the title. I wrote them twice to express my perspective on what I thought was a bit shortsighted considering the current culture of Dad’s staying at home. I never received a response of any kind. So, I reached out to a dear friend who is an amazing champion for teaching your children diligently through the avenue of home school and asked if I was on the fringe being a father who was homeschooling a child. She assured me I was not and that in fact there is an increasing number of fathers who are investing in their children by schooling them personally.
What I don’t want to do is to paint a picture that I’m hyper-sensitive about not being included since I’m a man and not a woman. That is in no way the case. However, I do think it is time organizations do take a look at the reality that while the space is dominated by women, more men are assuming this role. The reasons are diverse I’m sure, but just as women for so long have felt forgotten or not acknowledged in male dominated areas of society, men too can easily feel left out in this particular area.
In a society where gender neutrality is being championed, as Christians it can be easy to push back against that by over correcting and refusing to acknowledge that even though traditional roles may be shifting some, it is not un-Biblical. Deuteronomy 6 speaks to the whole of Israel on how to teach their children, not to mothers specifically.
I would challenge organizations who provide materials and support for parent that home school to consider that there are men out there who need and want interaction in a relevant way that understands they have challenges just like moms do. And maybe those challenges are different from what a mom experiences.
I would likely never attend a home school conference (other father’s might) knowing that I would be surrounded by a sea of moms who I would struggle to find common ground and feel comfortable interacting with. However, if I knew there were sessions specifically for Dads or that opportunities were set up for me to interact with other Dads I would be more inclined to attend and participate.
I believe it is wise when corresponding with parents to stay neutral in gender references or make sure to include fathers. This isn’t an attempt to stay current with the worldly culture in any way. In fact it is foundational to the Christian faith. As 1 Thessalonians 5:11 says, “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.”